To: James Foreman, Ass-Kicker, World-Changer
From: Resident Faculty Assistant, Arnold Hall, WVU
RE: Cake Batter Wrestling
Dear sir, this program will not occur and all advertising has been removed. I wish your sister and her friends had come to us immediately to discuss her concerns. In addition, the program was planned by the young women on Jason’s floor-not by him. At no time was the plan for anyone to wear bathing suits and both males and females were going to participate. The original program was just to include both male and female residents, but again, it will not be held. Rest assured that in no way was this meant to hurt females at Arnold in any way. I am sure you are aware that the Leadership Team for Arnold is comprised of two females. I also have a daughter and do not want females belittled or harmed in any way. We sincerely apologize that you, your sister and her friends. Please encourage her to come to me or to Gaby whenever she has a concern. We are always available and would be more than happy to listen to and act on her concerns. Again, please be assured that all advertisements have been removed.
Oh, by the way, the RA of that floor is feeding this Resident Faculty Assistant a line: I seriously doubt anyone would wrestle in cake batter in their clothes. I had it on good authority that the fuckhead RA was being pretty mysoginistic with this crap.
Oh, well. I’ll chalk it up as a success.